Yes they did play a role,the role of a catalyst to a process that had begun quite some time back.Yes I had been naughty and always been secretive about it,but when a Manoj blew off my veil of innocence,it was bound to shock me,disturb me and make me circumspect.So even though I was talking to Sarita,getting ready for my reception party my mind was constantly going back in times.The time when as 12 year old,I realized my sexuality.The realization that I would be able to conceive and create life was baffling .There were too many questions ,too may 'hows'.At times they were answered by my mom but in parts.The answers created more doubts and to one question ,no one could answer 'how does it feel'. Even now my vocabulary is limited as to express how does it feel.Thus the tenacious teen age were spent in trying to find these answers.It was during these times that I learnt to touch myself and enjoy.My mind went back in time when,my coach tried to satisfy my inquisitiveness.I had learnt a. They were, I suppose conditioned to repress any sexual desires. But what I found really interesting was the fact that virtually every woman in the story, were outrageous flirts even mildly by the mores of the day. So, they must have wanted to have a relationship.‘Yes, you’re absolutely right, but it was frowned upon then for any woman – even married ones – to seduce a man. especially an older woman with a younger man’.‘I understand that Lorraine, but what about all those married Victorian men, who went around shagging women other than their wives, left right and centre. And I apologise for using a swear word’.‘That’s okay, but to answer your question, if you notice in the book, those men, took control of those women. I am not saying they forced them, but rather made up their minds for them – and if the lady liked it, she went along with it’. We continued with general chit chat and she asked why I belonged to the group especially as they were all a lot older.‘Well Lorraine, I must be.
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